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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124977">The Misadventures of Lyra Ardent (Vol. 1)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dextervexprotectionsquad/pseuds/dextervexprotectionsquad'>dextervexprotectionsquad</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Misadventures of Lyra Ardent [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>basically just dexter being a better mentor than skulduggery (not that that’s hard), definitely some swearing, probably some violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:34:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124977</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dextervexprotectionsquad/pseuds/dextervexprotectionsquad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how Dexter Vex takes on a teenage protégée. It’s set around after Death Bringer, and I am completely disregarding all of phase two bc poor old Dexter deserves to be happy. It’s going to be a series, and Saracen and Anton are going to be alive because fuck canon, that’s why. Bone app the teeth!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Misadventures of Lyra Ardent [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chloe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chloe crouched behind a a concrete pillar as she heard the voices approach. From her hiding spot, she could see two men heading towards her, one behind the other. Something gleamed in the second man’s hand, and her eyes struggled to make out what it was in the dark.<br/>
“For the last time,” The man in front was saying, “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sounded slightly bored, and Chloe noticed that his accent was Irish.<br/>
“I think you do,” Said the second man, “and it’s in your best interests to tell me before I shoot you.”</p>
<p>Chloe’s heart dropped. She was pretty sure guns weren’t even legal in Australia, but then again, neither was shooting people. </p>
<p>She had snuck out of the house to go to the abandoned train station just a few blocks away from her quiet Sydney neighbourhood, just like she did every Friday night. It was quiet there, and nobody could see her practice what she had begun to think of as her ‘power’. </p>
<p>It had started a few months ago, when Chloe had been home alone watching tv. A crappy horror film had been playing, and as the serial killer appeared behind the main character, the wind had blown the window shut. Instinctively, Chloe had turned around as green light shot out of her hand, blasting a hole through the window. When her parents had come home, she told them a bird had flown into it. That night, she had lain awake, watching her hand glow green under the covers, like when she would stay up reading long past her bedtime as a child. </p>
<p>She hadn’t had any problems practicing at the old train station so far, but this guy was in trouble and she needed to help. Slowly, she peered around the pillar again and saw that the man with the gun was facing in her direction. Not ideal, but she was pretty sure she could still take him by surprise.<br/>
“I won’t ask you again, Vex. Where is the witch?”<br/>
“Which witch?” The Irishman responded.<br/>
“You know damn well-“ He looked over the second guy’s shoulder, straight at Chloe. </p>
<p>
  <i> Shit. </i>
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<p>Before he could move, Chloe’s hand lit up the platform in an eerie green, and the bolt of energy that burst from it hit the wall next to the man with the gun. Meanwhile, the second man used the distraction to hit the gun out of the first man’s hand and sent it skittering along the tiles. The first man landed a punch to the second one’s stomach in return, and he doubled over, wheezing. The gun had landed near Chloe’s foot, and the gun’s owner was headed straight for her. A burst of purple light sizzled through the first man’s shoulder, sending him crumpling to the ground. Chloe stared at the second man, who was now approaching. </p>
<p>“Are you alright?” He asked her. “What were you thinking?”<br/>
Chloe kept staring. After a long pause, she found her voice.<br/>
“You can do it too.” She said. Normally, she hated it when people pointed out the obvious, but this felt like something that needed to be addressed.<br/>
“What? Yes, I’m an energy thrower. Now, what the hell do you think you’re doing, playing superhero like that? You could have been hurt.”<br/>
The man on the floor groaned. They both ignored him. Slowly, Chloe started backing away. The man in front of her sighed, and from this distance, she could see him more clearly. He was tall, blond and muscular, and wore a black t-shirt over jeans. He held up both hands in a gesture that might have been comforting, had Chloe not just seen him zap a hole through the other guy’s shoulder with them. </p>
<p>“Relax.” He said. “I’m not going to hurt you.”<br/>
“What was that?” She asked, her mouth suddenly very dry. “What did you do to him?”<br/>
“You don’t know what it is?”<br/>
Chloe shook her head. “I didn’t know there were other people who could do it.”<br/>
He chuckled. “There’s loads of us. You just have to know where to look.” He checked his phone and bent down to snap a set of handcuffs around the other man’s wrists. Chloe tried not to look at the blood that soaked his shirtsleeve. “Well, then, we’d best be off. Have a good night, and maybe don’t go poking about in abandoned buildings where tetanus is the least of your worries.”<br/>
He hauled the other man to his feet, and started to walk away. The man winced and shot them both dirty looks, but didn’t say anything.<br/>
Chloe stood for a minute, and then followed them to where a gleaming black car stood parked against the footpath.<br/>
“Wait a minute,” she said, “where do I find people who can do this?”<br/>
“Pardon?”<br/>
“You said there’s a lot of ‘us’ out there, if I know where to look. Who are you?”<br/>
He closed the back door on the man who had almost shot him, and then sighed again. “Look, I wouldn’t recommend you go looking for trouble. There’s been some nasty business going on lately, and it’s best for you to just go home and not get involved. Seriously.” </p>
<p>He went to get in the car, but hesitated. “Are you able to get home okay?” He asked her. “If you want, I can give you a lift.” <br/>
Between him and the man in the backseat, Chloe was certain that accepting a lift home may not be in her best interests. She declined as politely as she could, and watched as the car drove off into the cool Sydney night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The wicked witch of Almond Terrace retirement village</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In witch (haha you see what i did there?) we meet Chloe’s family, and Chloe gets increasingly confused</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chloe stomped down the stairs a little before 11. She grabbed herself some cereal and juice, and walked to the veranda where her mother sat. She looked up at Chloe when she heard the door open, and smiled at her over her coffee mug.<br/>
“Well, look who’s finally up.”<br/>
Chloe set her bowl down on the coffee table and sat on the chair opposite her, squinting against the late morning sun.<br/>
“You’ll get wrinkles if you keep doing that.” Her mother pointed out helpfully.<br/>
Chloe grinned. “I take it you speak from experience?”<br/>
Her mum swatted her arm playfully. “Speaking of wrinkles,” She said, “your grandmother asked me if you’d like to come over today. I said I’d drop you over there around 12, so you’d better hurry up and get dressed.” </p><p>After the previous night’s events, seeing her grandmother was just what Chloe needed. She was infamous around her retirement village for her wildly eccentric fashion sense, the dry sense of humour she’d passed on to both her daughter and granddaughter, and most importantly, her penchant for dating much younger men. Chloe adored her. </p><p>She dressed in black jeans and a grey top, and shoved her blonde hair up into a ponytail. She said her farewell to her golden retriever, pulled on her Doc Martens, and followed her mother into the car. The drive consisted of twenty minutes of her mother blasting Queen and cursing at other drivers, but only the ones that deserved it. She dropped Chloe off with a kiss on the cheek - “gotta embarrass you in front of the old ducks” - and drove off, still blasting Fat Bottomed Girls. Chloe greeted the family of crows that lived in the tree outside her grandmother’s bungalow and let herself in. </p><p>She followed the routine procedure of patting Thomas, her grandmother’s well-fed ginger tabby (named after Thomas O’Malley from The Aristocats), pouring two cups of Oolong tea and making her way into the living room where her grandmother held court. This time, though, she nearly dropped the tea when she saw that there was another guest. </p><p>The strange man she’d seen last night sat on one of the plush velvet couches, looking just as confused as she felt. Her grandmother, however, looked delighted.<br/>
“Chloe, darling.” She said grandly, “How lovely to see you. Please, have a seat.”<br/>
Still not taking her eyes off the blond man, - Vex, the other man had called him. What the hell kind of name was that? - she placed the tea next to her grandmother and sat down on the other couch. Chloe was normally supportive of her grandmother living her best cougar life, but this was taking it a little far for her comfort level. She opened her mouth to voice her displeasure, but her grandmother got there first. </p><p>“Chloe, this is Dexter. He’s a sorcerer, like you.”<br/>
Chloe took a bit of time to process this one. Firstly, this man’s name appeared to be Dexter Vex. She didn’t quite know what to think of that one. Secondly, he was apparently a sorcerer. Thirdly, so was she. Lastly, her grandmother seemed to be well aware of her power, despite Chloe never having told her. </p><p>Chloe opened her mouth again, and was once again interrupted.<br/>
“The scrying bowl predicted this years ago, so this is all very exciting.”<br/>
She stared at her. Then she stared at the blond man. Then, for good measure, she stared at the cat, who merely shrugged and stretched himself out in a pool of sunlight. </p><p>Chloe decided to start simple. “What do you mean, ‘the scrying bowl predicted this years ago’?”<br/>
Her grandmother made an odd combination of a tut and a smirk. “Here I was thinking you would have worked this out by now, being such a clever girl and all.” She turned to the man - Dexter - and said “She’s top of all her classes, you know. Except maths, but it’s not like anybody needs that. It’s all bullshit, if you ask me, and-”</p><p>“Gran,” Chloe interrupted, “I really don’t think your latest magical boy toy needs to know all of that.”<br/>
Her grandmother cackled. Dexter looked at her, his eyebrows raised. “Cynthia,” he said, feigning hurt, “I thought I was more than that.”<br/>
He looked back at Chloe with a wry smile. “What she’s trying to say is that she’s a witch. And no,” He laughed, “I’m not her ‘magical boy toy’.”</p><p>“Right.” Chloe said slowly. It certainly would explain a lot, like her abnormally intelligent cat, the crows that brought her coins in exchange for bread, and the poisonous plants she kept in the garden. Now that she thought about it, it was a running joke in her family that gran was a witch, and she had never actually denied it. Whenever Chloe and her older sister would ask, all she would do was wink. </p><p>“So, does that mean that I’m a witch?”<br/>
Her grandmother smiled at her fondly. “You have the potential to be one, if you so choose. But I’m getting on in my years and was never that powerful anyway, so you need someone to teach you. That’s where Dexter here comes in. I’ve seen it in my visions.”<br/>
“Cynthia, I’ve told you about what’s been happening.” Dexter protested gently. “It’s not safe for her.”<br/>
“Has there ever been a safe time to be a sorcerer?”<br/>
“Well, no, but that-“<br/>
“That settles it then. Your magic lessons can start this afternoon. Now why don’t you two have a nice cup of tea and a chat in the kitchen, it’s time for my afternoon nap.”</p><p>Her tone, as usual, brooked no argument, and so Chloe joined Dexter in the kitchen.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Kudos/comments are, as always, greatly appreciated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A decision is made</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a long, awkward pause as they each took a seat at the kitchen table. </p><p>“So,” they began in unison. <br/>Dexter laughed. “Ladies first.”<br/>“I don’t really know where to start.” She confessed, staring into her tea. “I mean, I just found out that my grandmother’s a witch who can apparently see the future, and that there’s other people out there who can do the same thing I can. Did I miss anything?” <br/>“No,” He said, “I think that was the majority of it.” </p><p>There was more silence. </p><p>“You don’t have to teach me, if you don’t want to.” Chloe told him. <br/>They sat for a moment, appraising each other. From this distance, Chloe could see the scars that ran across his throat and arms. He had seemed completely unfazed by being held at gunpoint the night before, and Chloe was beginning to understand why. </p><p>“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Dexter told her, his hands absentmindedly tracing patterns on the mahogany table. “I just don’t want to put you in danger. You saw what happened to me last night, and I don’t want to be responsible for you getting hurt.”<br/>Chloe nodded. That seemed fair enough to her. Her mind wandered to the events of the previous night, and snagged on something. <br/>“When that guy asked you where the witch was, was he talking about Gran?”<br/>Dexter nodded. “He was, yes.” <br/>“What did he want”<br/>“I don’t know, he didn’t feel like telling me. I dropped him off at the Sanctuary, so hopefully they’ll be able to get some answers out of him there.”<br/>Chloe took a sip of tea, and adjusted herself so that she was now sitting cross-legged on her chair. “What’s the Sanctuary?”</p><p>“Ah, yes. I probably should explain that if you’re going to get involved in this.”<br/>Chloe shoved her excitement at that prospect down and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. <br/>Dexter continued, “There are sorcerers all over the world, and so we need Sanctuaries to keep them in check. Sort of like each country’s magical government, if you will. Australia, being a big country, has Sanctuary branches in most of the major cities, like here in Sydney, as well as Melbourne, Canberra and Perth.”<br/>“Do you work for the Sanctuary?” She asked. <br/>“Yes and no. Sometimes different Sanctuaries around the world ask for my assistance with solving cases, but I don’t work for any one Sanctuary full-time.”<br/>“So, kind of like a private investigator?”<br/>“Yeah, pretty much. The only thing that’s different is that I don’t do any paperwork, but that’s purely because it says in my contract that I don’t want to do it.”<br/>“Fair enough. What case are you working on now?” <br/>“Recently, psychics have been predicting that a sorcerer named Darquesse will try and destroy the world. I was trying to see if Cynthia had seen anything about it, but unfortunately not. To be honest, I have a sneaking suspicion that she invited me here purely to convince me to train you.” <br/>“And did she?” She asked, hopefully. <br/>Dexter looked amused, but didn’t answer. <br/>“Being a witch,” He said instead, “she’s known you were going to be a sorcerer since before you were born. However, the type of magic you and I can do is what’s known as energy-throwing, and she couldn’t teach you that.”<br/>Chloe nodded. “So, how many kinds of magic are there?” <br/>“Nobody’s quite sure exactly, but there are two main types; elemental and adept. Adepts are disciplines that aren’t elemental, like energy-throwing, and Elementals control earth, wind, air and fire.”<br/>“Like in Avatar?”<br/>“I’m not entirely sure what that is.”<br/>“It’s kinda hard to explain, but it’s a show where people control elements.”<br/>“I’ll have to check that one out. Anyhow, people keep discovering new ways to use magic, so there’s too many to even keep track of.”</p><p>“So, you said there was a sorcerer that’s going to destroy the world.” Chloe said. <br/>“She’ll try, but hopefully we’ll be able to stop her.”<br/>“You don’t seem awfully bothered by this.” She observed. <br/>“Look, it’s not ideal. But the world almost ends way more often than you’d think, so defeating Darquesse will just be another day in the office.” He paused. “Probably.”<br/>Chloe frowned. “What kind of a name is Darquesse, anyway?” <br/>“Some people just have bad taste when it comes to taking a chosen name, I’m afraid. I once met a man who called himself Bruce Wayne.” <br/>She laughed. “Seriously? Is that even allowed?”<br/>“I guess nobody can stop people from doing that,” Dexter said, shrugging. “but it’s strongly discouraged and heavily mocked.”</p><p>“I can imagine. Why do sorcerers have to pick a name?”<br/>“Every sorcerer has three names.” He explained. “Our given name, which is what our parents name us. Our taken name, the name we choose for ourselves, and our true name, which most people don’t know. Knowing someone’s true name or given name gives you power over them, which is why we choose taken names.”<br/>“Will I have to choose one?” Chloe asked. <br/>“Yes, but you don’t have to do it now. In fact, I would recommend you take some time to think about it, because that’s the name you’ll be using for the next thousand years or so.”<br/>Chloe looked at him, confused. <br/>“Magic makes sorcerers age much more slowly than mortals. I’d certainly like to think I look pretty good for 436.” <br/>“You mean to tell me that you’re 436 years old?”<br/>“Yep.”<br/>“Oh.” She didn’t quite know what to say to that. He only looked to be about 30, give or take.<br/>“It sounds like a lot, but after a while, you get used to it.” <br/>“It’s... kind of still a lot, though.” At that moment, something dawned on her. “If you’re over 400, how old is gran?” <br/>“A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells.” He said, grinning. “But, if I had to take a guess? I’d say no more than 140. She quit magic a long time ago to start a family.”<br/>“So the more magic you do, the slower you age?” <br/>“That’s right.” His expression softened. “I know all this might be hard for you to take in in one afternoon.” <br/>She shrugged. “I’m sure it won’t be the weirdest day of my life, especially if I live to 1000 years old.”<br/>“That’s the spirit.”<br/>Chloe drained her cup. “So,” She said carefully, “will you teach me magic?” </p><p>Dexter’s brown eyes met hers, and she couldn’t decipher his facial expression. When not smiling, the man had one of the most severe cases of resting bitch face Chloe had ever seen. <br/>Finally, he spoke;<br/>“Yes. But nothing too dangerous.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m not sure how I feel about this chapter consisting mostly of dialogue, let me know what you guys think</p><p>Kudos/comments are always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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